We were nominated- Nigeria blog awards

Write-freak and I are so so excited!!! Our Blog From the Heart of SoulSistas Blog got nominated not once but TWICE in the Nigerian Blog Awards... Woooo hoooo!!!!!

How cool is that?? Thank you for nominating us. We are humbled to know you believe in us.

Please will you help us win? 

All you need to do is go here, follow the instructions and vote. You don't have to be Nigerian to vote so please don't let that stop you. :)

Please vote in the following categories

1. Best Collaborative or Group Blog- From the heart of soulsistas
2. Best Relationship Blog- From the heart of soulsistas

Also my personal blog Purpose Driven Blog was nominated for Best Faith Based Blog as well. Please vote my blog for this category. Pretty please

We will be extremely grateful if you do this for us.

Voting ends Nov 11 but please do it now so you don't forget. :)

Thank you all

God bless!
Aloted

My best friend is getting married to Mr Wrong- What do I do?

Hi friends,

We hope you are doing well?

Please read below. Please can you advise Tara on what to do concerning her best friend? 

Thanks

Aloted

***************************************************************************

 I am 30 years old and I have been married for two years and I have a son. My bestie is the same age as me but isn’t married. We are both Christians.

source: google images

She has dated a few men but it didn’t work out. Her last relationship ended in heart break. She met this man a few months ago and they are already talking marriage. Personally I don’t think this man is good enough for her. I think she is settling for less. Growing up we both had a list for marriage- “must have” and “can’t stand”. We said we would never marry someone who has any of our “can’t stand” characteristics. This man has at least three of her “can’t stand” features! He is not born again (yes he goes to church but I know he isn’t), he smokes socially when with friends (or so he says) and he has been married before with two kids.

I have tried to remind my friend about our lists but she was like that was when we were young and in fairytale land. This is reality and time is ticking. She says the guy loves her (and has a lot of her must have features) and compared to the other guys she has dated even Christians he has been honest with her about himself.

I am shocked my friend is saying all these; I am not even sure about her spiritual life anymore. I think she is angry with God over her past failed relationships. I asked if she is ready to be a step mum and be involved in his former wife’s drama. She said the former wife and children live abroad and won’t be part of their lives. That she is a big girl and can handle it. She doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

I am scared my friend is making the wrong choice out of desperation. I love her and don’t want to see her hurt. But I am happily married with a child and she once said jokingly don’t I want her to join me in married life so we can swap stories. Of course I want her to be married but to the right man. Gosh! That is so not what marriage is about- swapping stories.

How do I get through to my friend? Her parents are late and she is the eldest of her siblings. This guy is rich and has promised to take care of her and her siblings.

Do you think I am over reacting? I don’t want to lose my best friend over this man but I am very worried for her.

Please what do I do?  Thank you

Tara.

Healing and Moving on: Are they the Same?

Today we are honored to have a guest post by Maggielola who blogs at worshipandswag.com. I was totally blessed by her wittiness. I hope this post helps someone who needs healing out there.

source: google images

Healing and Moving on: Are they the same? Maybe they are. Indeed we use them interchangeably and rightfully so. But like fraternal twins, one is orobo (fat) and the other is lepa (slim). I say this because they convey the same meaning but sadly, we have collapsed their functions into one word: moving on.

Be Our Guest

Quick Notice!!!

We are now accepting guest posts on the soulsistas' blog.

For more information, please check our guest post guidelines.

Have a blessed week!

Know Yourself Before You Get Married

"Can two walk together except they agree?" Amos 3.3

source: google images

Knowing yourself is a prerequisite to knowing WHO to marry. When you are truly aware of who you are it will be hard for you to marry Mr. Wrong. 


Knowing yourself helps you know your value and your worth. That way you would not sell yourself short. It will be easy to separate the weed from the chaff (yes we are talking about men)


Getting married shouldn’t be based on sentiments, pity or lofty emotions. In fact I almost see choosing a life partner as a form of business transaction.

Some areas to know about yourself include:


Your Strengths


God has given every single person strengths and abilities. What are you excellent at? What do you do flawlessly? Note them down; if you are not sure ask your friends and family.


In a successful marriage your strengths should complement your partner’s weaknesses e.g. you are good with excel spreadsheets and keeping account of your finances. This will be a great benefit to a man who loves to spend but needs someone to balance the accounts.



Your Weaknesses

These are areas you are struggling with or working on. It does not make sense to marry someone who has similar weaknesses to you. You are heading for doom.

I once dated a guy who was very short tempered. I on the other hand can be hot tempered and quick to vent when I am angry (ya ,ya I am improving, marriage is teaching me! Thanks for your concern..lol).

I saw him angry on a few occasions and let’s just say it was never a pleasant sight. He was a good man and ticked a lot of boxes. However recognising my own weakness, I knew it would be suicidal to marry him. I bowed out as fast as I could.

If you are like me, you want to marry a man that compliments your hot temperedness. Someone who is patient and calm, who can douse your anger when it raises its ugly head.


Can you tell by now I have a calm husband?



Your Passions

What are you passionate about? What gets you going? What keeps you alive and fulfilled? This is another key area you cannot compromise on.

If your intended is not thrilled about your passion or his passion will not make room for you to follow your passion, then think twice before signing the dotted line.

Marriage should benefit both parties not just the man.

You don’t have to be passionate about the same things but the key is in knowing if the man you want to marry will support your passion and not hinder you from fulfilling it.



Your Purpose

This is similar to your passion but is of a higher nature. Your purpose is bigger than you. What is your purpose in life? What is your vision? Will marrying this guy kill your purpose or make it come to live.


What is the man’s vision? Do you see yourself being a part of his vision?


Does he even have a vision? If he doesn’t, um how are you going to help him?Remember a key role of the wife is to be a help-meet to the husband, so he has to have something you are helping him with, right?


When you get married your destiny is tied to the person you marry FOREVER. A lot of marriages are in trouble today because the man and wife have separate visions and there is no common ground. This drives them further apart and before you know it there is resentment and unfufillment in the marriage. Infidelity and Divorce lurk quietly around the corner.

This will not be your story but you have to do the work BEFORE marriage. Invest in knowing yourself and any man that wants to marry you. It will make identifying Mr Right easier.

God has given you wisdom; use it when choosing your life partner.

Marriage is hard work enough; don’t make your life and future any more complicated by marrying someone you are not compatible with. 

Singles- do you think it is important to know who you are and if you are compartible with someone before marriage?


Married folks- was compartibility a determining factor in choosing your spouse or not?  

We will love to hear from you. Please leave us a comment or question in the comment section below.




 
In order not to miss a post from us, please subscribe below. Thanks

Enter your email address:


Delivered by FeedBurner