"There is no more lovely, friendly or charming relationship, communion or company, than a good marriage." ~Martin Luther

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

While Waiting for Mr Right

You are single, anxiously (or not) waiting for Mr. Right to come sweep you off your feet. While you are waiting, what are you doing to get prepared? It is ironic how in life we prepare for almost everything except marriage. Before taking an exam you study hard; before doing your driving test, you have hours of practice on the road. Parents to be have nine months to prepare before their bundle of joy arrives. Before singing or acting on stage you practice for days. Yet we expect that in the matter of love and marriage everything will just fall in place somehow.

Granted no one is perfect and marriage is about two imperfect people working together with a Perfect God as their foundation. Nevertheless, while waiting are you doing anything to become a better person? Esther in the bible, who won the favor of the king and became queen of Persia, had to undergo twelve months of preparation before she was presented to King Xerxes.

Here are some key questions you should consider while waiting.

Know who you are. What are your strengths and weaknesses? By knowing yourself in and out, good and bad, you can easily discern a man that can compliment (note not complete) you and vice versa. You can tell what you need in a mate and what you can live without. If you are a talkative or the life of a party, you don’t need someone who will compete with you. You need someone who can caution you and let you know when you are going to far. If you are quick tempered, you need someone who is levelheaded. If you are good with planning, you can complement someone who sees the big picture only.

Another aspect of knowing yourself involves some deep soul searching. You might need a trusted friend to help you determine your best and worst qualities. Are you pushy/bossy? Are you selfish? Do you derive pleasure from helping others? Are you giving? The list goes on and on. Hone your best qualities and try to improve on the not so good ones. Pray to God for guidance.

What is your financial status. Are you a spendthrift? Or do you have savings and investment. Are you in any form of debt? If so make a plan to clear your debt today. You should not be a liability but should be an asset to your man.

Stop keeping things off like investing, buying shares, a car or a house till you meet Mr Right. I know in Nigeria and many African countries it is frowned upon but your Mr Right will not be intimidated by who you are or what you have. It might actually help you separate the wheat from the weed. Make a choice to live your life to the fullest.

Can you make informed decisions and stick by them? Do u depend on others- parents, friends, family etc to make important decisions that concern your life. If so you need to get to a point where you can make your own decisions and accept the consequences no matter what. Marriage is between one man and one woman and they need to be able to make their decisions without involving external parties.

Do you have any emotional baggage you are still carrying around? If you are still hung up on your past relationships it is very likely that you will carry the hurt or issues into your new relationship and your judgement will be clouded. To have a fulfilled future, you need to let go of any past hurts or betrayal. Forgive and let the love of God fill your heart. Be lovable.

How is your spiritual and prayer life? Is your relationship with God growing? He should be number 1 in your life. You should enjoy being in his presence. Learn how to hear him speak to you so that you can discern when you meet Mr Right.

There will be many times in your marriage that you will need to intercede on behalf of your husband and children. Learn how to communicate with God now before the days of adversity and trials come along.

Are you keeping yourself pure for your Mr Right? Are you conducting your relationship with potential guys you meet in a respectful way that will glory God? Remember your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit

Above all remember that God makes all things beautiful in his time. Just because Mr Right has not found you yet does not mean God is not working behind the scenes. He is probably getting Mr Right ready just for you! Keep trusting.

On a personal note, I always wanted to get married at the age of 24. I just felt that was an ideal age to get married but God’s plan for me was to get married much much much later than I expected. In retrospect, I am thankful my "grand" plan did not work out. Why? Because at 24, I was immature & selfish to enter into marriage. My life was just not ready to handle marriage. I needed to sort out my emotional baggage, anger issues etc before meeting Mr Right. I am glad I aligned myself to God’s timing, while getting myself ready for my man.
Next time, we shall be looking at some ways to recognise Mr Right and not settle for less.

This list is not exhaustive; please feel free to share other key points with us.

Thank you.

Recommended Reading:
Blog by Rita- Preparing for your King

A love worth waiting for-


  1. Oh this is a great post! It's so true that we expect things to just happen when it comes to love yet we work so hard for everything else.

    I am definitely in the mindframe of working on being the best person I can be, instead of just sitting pretty as if I'm 100% ready for someone as I am now.

    It's going to be a great journey!

  2. GNG I was meant to be first! mscheww...okay the topic sounds verrrriiii interesting...BRB

  3. Mr Right will not be intimidated by who you are or what you have...Amen! Seriously a man whose ego is too fragile to deal with a woman who grabbed opportunities by the horns isn't the kind of guy I'm after (though at the same time I can see how women who are too proud of themselves (to the point of conceit) or who lord their accomplishments over their man could drive him away).

    Make a choice to live your life to the fullestI'm committed to doing this now! I wasn't before.

    lol pele NoLimit!

  4. This is a great list for both women AND men to go by. Too many people end up rushimng into relationships without knowing and working on themselves first. I enjoyed it.

  5. As always love u!!! I heard some of these things stated in a message by Juanita Bynum... so true ! nice post :)

  6. wonderful post and interesting information

  7. I love this blog. You guys always bring up very important often unspoken words. Well done!

  8. like charizard will say "well yarned!" esp the part about emotional baggage.

  9. very insightful..thanks for this, Aloted..

  10. hmmm..i'm edified..thanks 4 this

  11. True word...I also wanted to be married at the age of 24, 2.5 years after my 'due' date, I'm still learning. God bless you.

  12. I'm a 24-25ish goal setter to. I guess I wait and see what God does.

    Till then, I'll work on finishing school and getting a job first.

    And tossing out emotional Baggage.

    Thanks for asking, the boo is good.

  13. This is the very blog to be at...Thank you Aloted.

    Gosh I cannot imagine what a wreck i would have been if i married at 24 [my dream age]. I was totally unprepared...

  14. Thanks y'all for your comments, please keep them coming and questions too.

    It apears age 24/25 seems to be the ideal marriage age for a number of people...I wonder why? Cultural influence?? For me I think it was cuz my mum got married at that age and I thot what a nice age to be married. Yeah right!

  15. that was really nice. i loved it from beginning to end. especially the know your finances part. i keep trying to tell a friend that but she seems to think that guys enjoy spending money on her. get real!

  16. LOL@Grand plan...

    Great post.

  17. Fantastic pointers!, taken special notes on this. Thanks so much...i guess i have some work to do

  18. nice..
    ...was blessed by this post....

  19. Know who you are! That is the number one point and aptly put, its the light with which the other points could be seen. This post is a must read.

  20. Wow I love this...why am I just coming on to this? I love the blog, the idea, everything...

    The post...lovely...Points out a few points of interests for me..sometimes we're not as ready we make ourselves out to be

  21. this is the most inspiring and useful post i have ever read on blogville...thank you

  22. Great points , i currently know this 23 year old that talks non stop about marriage, The guy maybe the right one, but i don't think she herself is ready for a marriage commitment as she still has a lot of maturing to do.

    Getting married to the right one, is more important than how early or quickly one gets married because of societal expectations,fear of loneliness or biological fears.

    This is a great article many young ladies need to read


  23. This is some great word ladies, it breaks my heart when i see ladies that ricochet in and out of relationships, and each time leaving after some dude has had his way with their body.

    Reputations always follow ladies.

    I went to school with a girl nine years ago, and some of her antics with her boyfriend where known. Saw her this year, lovely girl. On telling another school mate i had run into her, they very first thing that came to their mouth was "that one" same thing happened when we were in NYSC, her story had followed her off campus.

    That boyfriend is long gone , ancient history, but the "escapades" she got up to with him is what people recall at the mention of her name.

    Please ladies , the only man that should touch you tenderly or see your body is the man that takes your hand in marriage from your father.

    Dating relationships end, but the memories and the impressions often last so much longer.

  24. We spend so much time focusing on the "D day" and how marriage will change our lives and we end up walking into it with eyes closed! We need to live in the joy of the day ( easier said than me, I know) and focus on building ourselves and being happy exactly where we are.

  25. Nice. This is so true because only God knows whats best for us.

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