"There is no more lovely, friendly or charming relationship, communion or company, than a good marriage." ~Martin Luther

Monday, 20 August 2012

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Friday, 10 August 2012

Know Yourself Before You Get Married

"Can two walk together except they agree?" Amos 3.3

source: google images
Knowing yourself is a prerequisite to knowing WHO to marry. When you are truly aware of who you are it will be hard for you to marry Mr. Wrong. 

Knowing yourself helps you know your value and your worth. That way you would not sell yourself short. It will be easy to separate the weed from the chaff (yes we are talking about men)

Getting married shouldn’t be based on sentiments, pity or lofty emotions. In fact I almost see choosing a life partner as a form of business transaction.

Some areas to know about yourself include:

Your Strengths

God has given every single person strengths and abilities. What are you excellent at? What do you do flawlessly? Note them down; if you are not sure ask your friends and family.

In a successful marriage your strengths should complement your partner’s weaknesses e.g. you are good with excel spreadsheets and keeping account of your finances. This will be a great benefit to a man who loves to spend but needs someone to balance the accounts.

Your Weaknesses

These are areas you are struggling with or working on. It does not make sense to marry someone who has similar weaknesses to you. You are heading for doom.

I once dated a guy who was very short tempered. I on the other hand can be hot tempered and quick to vent when I am angry (ya ,ya I am improving, marriage is teaching me! Thanks for your

I saw him angry on a few occasions and let’s just say it was never a pleasant sight. He was a good man and ticked a lot of boxes. However recognising my own weakness, I knew it would be suicidal to marry him. I bowed out as fast as I could.

If you are like me, you want to marry a man that compliments your hot temperedness. Someone who is patient and calm, who can douse your anger when it raises its ugly head.

Can you tell by now I have a calm husband?

Your Passions

What are you passionate about? What gets you going? What keeps you alive and fulfilled? This is another key area you cannot compromise on.

If your intended is not thrilled about your passion or his passion will not make room for you to follow your passion, then think twice before signing the dotted line.

Marriage should benefit both parties not just the man.

You don’t have to be passionate about the same things but the key is in knowing if the man you want to marry will support your passion and not hinder you from fulfilling it.

Your Purpose

This is similar to your passion but is of a higher nature. Your purpose is bigger than you. What is your purpose in life? What is your vision? Will marrying this guy kill your purpose or make it come to live.

What is the man’s vision? Do you see yourself being a part of his vision?

Does he even have a vision? If he doesn’t, um how are you going to help him?Remember a key role of the wife is to be a help-meet to the husband, so he has to have something you are helping him with, right?

When you get married your destiny is tied to the person you marry FOREVER. A lot of marriages are in trouble today because the man and wife have separate visions and there is no common ground. This drives them further apart and before you know it there is resentment and unfufillment in the marriage. Infidelity and Divorce lurk quietly around the corner.

This will not be your story but you have to do the work BEFORE marriage. Invest in knowing yourself and any man that wants to marry you. It will make identifying Mr Right easier.

God has given you wisdom; use it when choosing your life partner.

Marriage is hard work enough; don’t make your life and future any more complicated by marrying someone you are not compatible with

Singles- do you think it is important to know who you are and if you are compartible with someone before marriage?

Married folks- was compartibility a determining factor in choosing your spouse or not?  

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