Hi friends,
We hope you are doing well?
Please read below. Please can you advise Tara on what to do concerning her best friend?
Thanks
Aloted
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I am 30 years old and I have been married
for two years and I have a son. My bestie is the same age as me but isn’t
married. We are both Christians.
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| source: google images |
She has dated a few men but it didn’t work
out. Her last relationship ended in heart break. She met this man a few months ago and they are already talking marriage.
Personally I don’t think this man is good enough for her. I think she is
settling for less. Growing up we both had a list for marriage- “must have” and
“can’t stand”. We said we would never marry someone who has any of our “can’t
stand” characteristics. This man has at least three of her “can’t stand”
features! He is not born again (yes he goes to church but I know he isn’t), he
smokes socially when with friends (or so he says) and he has been married
before with two kids.
I have tried to remind my friend about our
lists but she was like that was when we were young and in fairytale land. This
is reality and time is ticking. She says the guy loves her (and has a lot of her must have features) and compared to the
other guys she has dated even Christians he has been honest with her about
himself.
I am shocked my friend is saying all these;
I am not even sure about her spiritual life anymore. I think she is angry with
God over her past failed relationships. I asked if she is ready to be a step mum and be
involved in his former wife’s drama. She said the former wife and children live
abroad and won’t be part of their lives. That she is a big girl and can handle
it. She doesn't want to talk about it anymore.
I am scared my friend is making the wrong
choice out of desperation. I love her and don’t want to see her hurt. But I am
happily married with a child and she once said jokingly don’t I want her to
join me in married life so we can swap stories. Of course I want her to be
married but to the right man. Gosh! That is so not what marriage is about-
swapping stories.
How do I get through to my friend? Her
parents are late and she is the eldest of her siblings. This guy is rich and
has promised to take care of her and her siblings.
Do you think I am over reacting? I don’t
want to lose my best friend over this man but I am very worried for her.
Please what do I do? Thank you
Tara.
