"There is no more lovely, friendly or charming relationship, communion or company, than a good marriage." ~Martin Luther

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Single and Loving it!!!...What's the big deal...?

So apologies for the loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong break in transmission. Can you forgive us?

We have gone to the drawing board and we intend to come out with more exciting, thought provocative articles!

Today we have a guest blogger in the house. We hope you enjoy the post as much as we do. We would love to know your thoughts in the comments section after reading. Thanks!


Okay, what’s the big deal? Do I need to have a man before I have true happiness?
Sometime last year, I listened to a radio talk show discussing whether being single and happy is a myth. I was on my way out when the show came on air, but I called in and I aired my view which is …………..
If I need a man to make me happy, then I am of all men most miserable! Yes, I totally agree that having a man is good and very wonderful but I tell you what, if there’s none in the horizon at the moment, does that mean doom and gloom for me..exactly I didn’t think so myself!. Now, don’t get me twisted, marriage is a beautiful thing (borrowing some of the words of our very own D’banj).
When I got back late at night to listen to the conclusion of the show online, I was a bit surprised to hear that some other contributors to the show had said, “saying I am single and happy is a big lie and if I really feel that way, it means I am hiding something deeper…”.
Well I am open to constructive criticism, so when I heard this I immediately did a quick soul search to check if I’m actually hiding behind a wall. The outcome is…I still say that I can be single and happy!
I don’t have it all together and I’m not saying I don’t have my down days but I made a decision ages ago not to let my happiness be dependent on anybody, no not even my mum! Otherwise I’ll be crying all day!!!
So I ask again kinni big deal?
Don’t allow yourself to be labeled because you’re single, it is not a disease…it is a time to get to know you. I hear someone say: “what if I have gotten to know all of me and there’s still no man in the horizon”…hmmm now I know this can be annoying and very frustrating, especially for those of us that have chosen to WAIT!!!
I honestly don’t have a “panadol” kind of response (what I mean is I do not have a quick formula to get you out of singledom!) But I suggest you keep doing what makes you happy and don’t stop trusting your maker…
I love me right now, and I can boldly say it…
WriterNo Limit


  1. I agree with you... happiness is by choice. If some choose to be happy only when there is a man in their life, its their choice

    I can find happiness without a man in mine...thats my choice

  2. So true..
    It just takes the art of appreciating yourself and knowing who you are..

  3. happiness is within...and it is a choice

  4. I totally agree with you! You most be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else!

  5. You are definitely right that one can be single and happy. Infact joyful is the word because joy comes from within while happiness is based on circumstances. Happiness is also a choice. But the person who said “saying I am single and happy is a big lie and if I really feel that way, it means I am hiding something deeper..." is saying the truth. That is how the person feels and there are a couple of single women who can concur.

    A nice follow up to this post is how people can be single and happy. Believe me, there are people looking for such answers. When I was single, apart from getting to the point where I was at peace with God and knew He will definitely give me a great husband, I had to make a conscious effort to be happy. A book that helped me was "Choose the Happiness Habit" by Pam Golden. It helped me realize that one can choose to be happy and also gave steps/activities to put this to practice. You can find this lovely, practical book on amazon.

    Lovely post and good to have the Soulsistas blog up and running.

  6. u can be single and happy. i believe that. especially when you have the calmness and peace that knowing Jesus bings.

  7. Lovely post, just need to add that if being happy depends on what we have, why are there so many unhappy people around? Happiness and Joy should come from know Christ and who we are in him. We are complete in him. Not in being single or married. Or anything else. The world is deceived, they've being told that our happinesscomes from the validation of what we have. What a shame.
    I pray that singles like yourselves keep the flag flying.

  8. i agree with you. I think that in whatever situation we find our selves in we should just make it a lovely one, for as we move in life, situations will change...
    Nice post i love it.

  9. I'm almost 2 years late on this comment but what the heck. I loved what you said and I agree whole heartedly. I wrote a similar post a few minutes back and said pretty much the same thing. It seems to me that no matter how educated and liberal society as a whole gets, what will never change is the assumption that a woman needs a man to complete her.


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